Your “Why” Will Make You Cry
Many times in my life, I thought I uncovered my life's purpose. It wasn't until I experienced the worst that could happen, that I recognize our greatest purpose might come from our greatest sorrow.
|photo by Jim de Girolamo|
|Yes...I'm the red head|
|Singing in Venice Italy|
photo courtesy of dusty Araujo
|In the Congo, |
photo courtesy of Helen Hill-Stephens
Toward the end of my 42nd year, life dropped me to my knees. My 16 year old son woke up with fever and was dead the next morning. Just that quick. The doctor’s misdiagnosis of the flu turned out to be the silent deadly killer, bacterial meningitis.
How can you possibly go on when you've lost a child? Grief is everywhere and in every breath you take. There's a reason why people call the death of a child “the worst that can happen.
Because it is.
The loss of a child changes every chapter in your book of life.
|My beautiful boy Garrett|
Every morning I'd wake up and know without a doubt that it would just be a matter of moments before I'd remember my son died and it would stab me in the gut every time. It was unbearable and I wanted to hide in my room and turn my life over to the sadness that consumed every part of me.
Then, I would hear my 1 year old son, Jackson, calling out to me and I had no choice. I had to continue being a mother to my three living children. Their childhood deserved more than my best. They lost someone too, and I couldn't let Garrett's death take their mommy or their childhood away.
And that’s when I had to resurrect purpose from my most painful “why.” The “why” borne from the darkest grief of the worst that can happen, the death of my beautiful child.
|My book for parents who have lost children|
- 1. Allow change to be a driving force in your life. Often, the loss of a dream is the launching pad for discovering your destiny.
- 2. Sometimes, the thing that makes you different is the very thing that people will remember in a positive way.
- 3. What are you waiting for? Discover what’s holding you back. Life Coach Max Simon says, “People will change when they’ve suffered enough.” Recognize how far you’re willing to go before making a change.
- 4. If money weren’t an issue, what would you be doing? I know for a fact, I would still be writing, even if I had millions in the bank. Writing fuels my passion for life.
- 5. Obstacles create possibilities. Look at major life changing events, losses, or roadblocks to success as opportunities.
- 6. This one is important...write a list of all the things you’ve accomplished that have brought enlightenment to others. It will be a resource of inspiration. It can be something like making an apple pie for a friend, donating your time at a charity function, or building a home for Habitat for Humanity.
- 7. Your “Why” should make you cry. Above all, your mind, your heart, and your soul will know when you’ve found your “Why,” because the emotion will pool deep from within and will bring you tears of knowing…. and there’s no doubt you will cry.
|My husband and I recently returned to Italy |
where we both performed In Up With People
|Julianne today...photo by Erin Muller|
Now that makes me cry.
Ask yourself, “What is my why?” Be open to the possibility there may be more than just one thing that summarizes your “why.”
Sandy Peckinpah is the host of a radio show, Passion By Design on KRXA 540 Am Talk Radio. She's the author of several books, her newest being “How to Survive the Worst that can Happen,” a parent’s step by step guide to healing after the loss of a child, written from her own experiences (available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Balboa Press). Her blog, www.BreakthroughToHappy addresses an array of inspiring subjects from transformation, grief, and resilience.. Sandy welcomes your inquiries: firstname.lastname@example.org. Visit her website www.SandyPeckinpah.com