Make Room for your Dreams… and the Unexpected

Make Room for your Dreams and the Unexpected... 
... it Might be More than You Ever Thought Possible!

How do you know if you’re ready to take the lead in the story of your life? You might be struggling right now, having been thrown into a set of life circumstances you didn’t expect at all.

My “unexpected” story began the day I was born. I popped out with red hair. Did you know that a curly red headed, blue eyed little girl represents less than 1% of the population! That meant I was special… right? I thought so, until I entered 5th grade in a brand new school.

During the first lunch period a boy came up to me with his lunch sack in hand. He wore a smile on his face. I'd caught him looking at me earlier that morning in class. As he approached, his beguiling smile suddenly turned ugly.  He yelled, “I’d rather be dead than red!” He jumped at me and spit right in my face.

I was so shocked. Tears burst from my eyes. I covered my face with my hands, horrified, as spit dripped down my cheeks. He laughed and took off running. Humiliated, I ran for refuge into the girls’ bathroom. I looked in the mirror and suddenly saw someone I didn’t recognize. I always thought I was pretty… until then. I aggressively scrubbed the spit of shame from my face with a rough brown paper towel. My cheeks were raw and red. I went to the nurse’s office and told her I wasn’t feeling well and waited with a knot in my stomach for my mom to pick me up.

That bullying incident took me down for days. In fact, for about a week I ate lunch in the school bathroom, hiding from the bully. It was the first time I can remember that I began writing down my feelings in a journal. In my writing, I fought back. I said the things I wanted to say. Somewhere around the second week after the incident, a new “bold” me welled up from my words. 

Over the next year or two, I let my hair grow long and wavy. I was proud to have it… especially since we entered the Age of Aquarius… the hippie years when long hair was considered hip. I loved the Beatles and Paul was the one I was sure to marry. His girlfriend was a red-haired beauty named Jane Asher. I was certain I was next in line.
I grew my red hair... long and proud

I loved writing poetry and singing songs. In my journal I envisioned being on stage.  I joined a small singing group in my home town, which lead to me heading to New York to join the national cast of the show. I was just 16 at the time... but I'd found my platform in song and dance.

I traveled the world with a message about love, equality, and compassion. I knew what it was like to be bullied. I felt I was making a difference in the world.

Dr. Viktor Frankel, a neurologist, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor writes in his book, "A Man's Search for Meaning:"
In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning.

I didn't realize it then, but in looking back, I had transformed my suffering into meaning.

My journal documented my travels, my life, but it was also my vision book. I dreamed it, I made it happen. I was certain I had full reign over my destiny.

Catapult forward ... 
I never realized how much I counted on life going the way I planned. I left no room for the unexpected... and yet it happened one day when my son died unexpectedly. 

How could that have happened? I thought I had reign over my fairy tale life. Suddenly, I was a woman in a story I didn’t recognize. I hadn't written this chapter in my vision book of my future.

No one wants to believe anything bad could happen, but sometimes it does. If it happens to you, you need to know you will survive and it will transform you.

If you study the chapters of your life that were unexpected, you can see two sides of the story and often something remarkable can rise up out of the adversity... it's your incredible will to survive.

If you look at the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you’ll find it didn’t really break you. Did it? If you’re reading this blog, you're open and searching for new thoughts, ideas, and ways to live.

You’re not broken… you’re changed. What ever happened to you gave you the gift of new awareness.

Now, you'll never, ever take anything for granted. You'll know for sure, there's nothing more important than love. You realize the purest form of connection is being transparent and projecting who you really are to others. It leads you to all things... love, peace, success, and happiness.

This all leads back to my original point. You have to fuel your happiness by making room for your dreams and the unexpected. You do that by building your portfolio of life and looking at it from a different perspective.

One of the women I coach came to me after having lost her beautiful son in a car accident. At the time, Sally never saw a way out of her pain. 

The other day she heard about a friend whose child had died. It brought her own tragic loss back in the forefront and it felt like her heart broke all over again. She was afraid she would re-live the overwhelming, gut wrenching feelings of disbelief, denial, and confusion she felt when she first lost her son a year ago. I knew her fear. I feel the feelings every time I hear someone’s child has died, but I also knew how far Sally had come in her adjustment to life without her child.

I reminded her it’s been almost a year since her son died and she’s still here, growing stronger every day. She replied, “Thank you, that does put it into perspective for me. I have survived 359 days to date. Amazing, when I didn’t think I could get through one more day and here I am.” You see, time doesn't heal loss, but learning to find new meaning for living does.

In spite of her fear, Sally offered to help her friend in any way she could. Nothing transforms us more than reaching out and being of service in spite of our own sorrow. I’m so very proud of her and I know her son’s legacy drives her to help this friend whose loss is so new and raw. Sally made room in her heart for something important and critical for recovery-compassion for another mother in grief.

Remember: In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning.
Sally is such a beautiful, strong and vibrant woman who never forgets her son, but she’s learning to live in a new way, forming a new relationship with her beautiful boy... one that lives on in her heart forever. (Sally... I know Andy is smiling down on you now.)
Doing something for someone else raises our own level of joy, success, and happiness.

I love helping you discover your hidden meaning and purpose in life. I love helping you re-write your story and claim happiness, love, and success for the future. This blog is one way I do that.

I will also be sharing a way to open your book of life to new possibilities with the Discover Your Heart’s Desire Ebook Program. If you’d like to learn more about it, please sign up on my website to receive an email and I will notify you when it’s released! I'm so excited to be able to offer this to you and it comes with a free gift if you're among the first!

Get ready to open the next chapter to a life you've always dreamed of!

With love and best wishes,
For more blogs and information, please sign up on my website!

Sandy Peckinpah writes and speaks on finding happiness, surviving loss and activating resilience. Her new award winning book entitled, "How to Survive the Worst that Can Happen" is a parent's step by step guide for healing after the loss of a child, based on her own experience of losing her 16 year old son. She coaches women on finding the next chapter of their lives and is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist® with the Grief Recovery Institute® in Los Angeles. 

Website and programs offered:    

Visit my website and sign in to download my FREE ebook, Stepping Stones to a Resilient Life

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